I enjoy taking personality tests. While I think the results should be taken with a grain of salt, I do think that they can help us understand ourselves and articulate how we work. With this increased awareness, we can be more intentional in the way we live our lives.
Understanding the 5 Love Languages is an example of where this has had a positive effect in my relationships. Here is an explanation of the 5 Love Languages, why they are important, and different Valentine’s Day ideas specifically suited to each of them.
Original photo by Kreative Beginnings Photography
Gary Chapman is a relationship counselor who came up with the 5 Love Languages and has written many books on how to implement them. These are true for romantic relationships as well as families and friendships. While we all typically speak each of them some of the time, everyone seems to have a preference for one or two.
Words of Affirmation: Giving compliments and speaking encouragement and support.
Acts of Service: Actions that take on the other’s responsibilities or relieve a burden.
Receiving Gifts: Gifts act as a symbol love through their thoughtfulness and effort.
Quality Time: Spending time together with meaningful conversation without distraction.
Physical Touch: Not necessarily about sex, this can be all kinds of touch like hugging and hand holding.
You can find out what your and other important people in your life’s primary love languages are by completing this quiz.
How It Works
We typically speak love in our primary language which is the way that we want to receive love. Unfortunately, if the other person’s primary love language is not the same as yours, chances are they are not receiving it and vice versa. After becoming familiar with the languages, you may be able to see times in the past where someone had shown you love, but at the time you didn’t feel it because it wasn’t in your language.
Once you are aware of your own primary love language, you can be clear with others about your needs. Once you are aware of others’ primary languages, you can be intentional about speaking to them in the way they can receive it the best.Once you are aware of your own primary love language, you can be clear with others about your needs. Click To Tweet
Here are a few ideas to celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone special while expressing your love in their primary love language.
Words of Affirmation
-make a “10 Reasons Why I Love You” booklet
-write a letter or poem expressing your appreciation
-hide encouraging post it notes around the house
Acts of Service
-serve breakfast in bed or cook their favourite dinner
-do their most dreaded chore for them
-give a gift certificate for a manicure or car wash
-draw, paint, print, or cut and glue a meaningful handmade card
-bring home a bouquet of flowers or have them delivered
-pick up a gift of something they’ve been wanting
-go out for an intimate dinner at a quiet restaurant
-take a long walk through a pretty part of town
-try something new like art classes or a new sport
What’s your primary love language? Do you have any special plans for Valentine’s Day?