Valentine’s Day Ideas for the 5 Love Languages

I enjoy taking personality tests. While I think the results should be taken with a grain of salt, I do think that they can help us understand ourselves and articulate how we work. With this increased awareness, we can be more intentional in the way we live our lives.


Understanding the 5 Love Languages is an example of where this has had a positive effect in my relationships. Here is an explanation of the 5 Love Languages, why they are important, and different Valentine’s Day ideas specifically suited to each of them.

Valentine's Day Ideas for the 5 Love Languages
Original photo by Kreative Beginnings Photography


Gary Chapman is a relationship counselor who came up with the 5 Love Languages and has written many books on how to implement them. These are true for romantic relationships as well as families and friendships. While we all typically speak each of them some of the time, everyone seems to have a preference for one or two.


Words of Affirmation: Giving compliments and speaking encouragement and support.

Acts of Service: Actions that take on the other’s responsibilities or relieve a burden.

Receiving Gifts: Gifts act as a symbol love through their thoughtfulness and effort.

Quality Time: Spending time together with meaningful conversation without distraction.

Physical Touch: Not necessarily about sex, this can be all kinds of touch like hugging and hand holding.


You can find out what your and other important people in your life’s primary love languages are by completing this quiz.


How It Works

We typically speak love in our primary language which is the way that we want to receive love. Unfortunately, if the other person’s primary love language is not the same as yours, chances are they are not receiving it and vice versa. After becoming familiar with the languages, you may be able to see times in the past where someone had shown you love, but at the time you didn’t feel it because it wasn’t in your language.


Once you are aware of your own primary love language, you can be clear with others about your needs. Once you are aware of others’ primary languages, you can be intentional about speaking to them in the way they can receive it the best.

Once you are aware of your own primary love language, you can be clear with others about your needs. Click To Tweet


Here are a few ideas to celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone special while expressing your love in their primary love language.


Words of Affirmation

-make a “10 Reasons Why I Love You” booklet
-write a letter or poem expressing your appreciation
-hide encouraging post it notes around the house

Acts of Service

-serve breakfast in bed or cook their favourite dinner
-do their most dreaded chore for them
-give a gift certificate for a manicure or car wash

Receiving Gifts

-draw, paint, print, or cut and glue a meaningful handmade card
-bring home a bouquet of flowers or have them delivered
-pick up a gift of something they’ve been wanting

Quality Time

-go out for an intimate dinner at a quiet restaurant
-take a long walk through a pretty part of town
-try something new like art classes or a new sport

Physical Touch

-cuddle up (maybe make a fort) and watch their favourite movie at home
-give a massage with lotion bars or massage oil
-depending on your style choose a club or class and go dancing


What’s your primary love language? Do you have any special plans for Valentine’s Day?

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10 Comment

  1. Reply
    Deborah @ Confessions of a mother runner
    February 7, 2016 at 6:29 pm

    This is really interesting I should get my husband to read it too! I really appreciate it when my husband does one of “acts of service” for me. It shows that he appreciates all that I do. Nice!

    1. Reply
      February 7, 2016 at 9:21 pm

      That’s awesome. Mine is acts of service too and tied with quality time also.

  2. Reply
    Sammi @ Grounded & Surrounded
    February 8, 2016 at 12:20 pm

    LOVE this! Pinning 🙂 Acts of service and quality time are my love languages. My husband is physical touch and I am constantly reminding myself to physically touch him more as in hugs, holding his hand, and just giving him a loving touch when I walk by. It can be difficult, but I am trying!!

    1. Reply
      February 8, 2016 at 12:47 pm

      I’m glad you found it helpful! You’ve got the same love languages as me, and my husband’s is words of affirmation. It definitely takes practice to express love in ways other than your own primary love language on a regular basis, it seems like it just doesn’t even occur to me sometimes.

  3. Reply
    February 9, 2016 at 7:24 pm

    I really need to read this book but I love these ideas! =)

    1. Reply
      February 9, 2016 at 11:24 pm

      Awesome! I definitely recommend the book if you want to go more in depth.

  4. Reply
    February 11, 2016 at 9:35 am

    These are great ideas not just for Valentine’s Day but I think year round in a marriage! Thanks for sharing at the Thursday Favorite Things Blog Hop|Link Party. Pinned this!

    1. Reply
      February 11, 2016 at 12:23 pm

      That’s so true! It’s important to be intentional with our affection not only on special occasions. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂

  5. Reply
    Kim Cunningham
    February 16, 2016 at 9:57 am

    I love this and it has helped in all of my relationships.

    1. Reply
      February 16, 2016 at 10:01 am

      I’m so glad to hear that! And you’re right, it is definitely applicable to more than just romantic relationships.

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